OK, after all the hype I gave in and decided to watch the first episode of the new ABC show "Splash"

Which will be the last time, and judging from what I'm hearing/reading, I'm far from alone in that opinion.

If you missed it, I suggest you go to ABC On Demand and check it out; that may be the only chance you'll have to see it.

Someone should start a pool (pun intended) on how many more episodes will make it before the plug is pulled and the pool is drained (it's just way too easy).

If you aren't familiar with "Splash", it's celebrities...and that term is REALLY used with tongue in cheek, diving into pools for competition.

"Diving With The Stars"

"American Diver"

"America's Got Chlorine"

If a TV Network schedules a show to run immediately after one of their Sweeps Months periods, that's their way of saying "Yeah, it's crap but we've already made the commitment so deal with it."

Here's the list of "Celebrities" (and I'll be the first to admit I'm not up to speed on my "D Listers":

* KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR (Gotta give him props to do this at 65)
* LOUIE ANDERSON (This is wrong on so many levels)
* KESHIA KNIGHT PULLIAM (Rudy Huxtable...I should say a very healthy Rudy Huxtable, there's room for a "floatation device" joke here, but I'll just leave it alone)

Now I know many of you will say about some of the folks I list as "Who?", "Hey, not fair Mike, I know who they are."

OK, good thought; is that enough for you to watch every week?

Yeah, didn't think so.

At the end of the first show, Rudy got the boot.....or maybe we'll call it the fin...after a "Dive Off".

Reaction online as I write this is brutal.....what would Theo say?

Unless things change and Moses reappears to part the pool, I'm parting with this show.

Mike Patrick