Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to hell.
Millennials have long been criticized for their inability to “adult". They avoid marriage and quit their jobs to travel.
So, the cynical game-makers at Hasbro devised the Monopoly for Millennials.
“Forget real estate. You can’t afford it anyway,” the cover of the $19.82 (get it?) board game reads. But, forget trying to buy it. It's sold out. Hasbro can't keep up with demand.
Players won't win with money. They can't buy homes or railroads, but instead collect “experience points” by earning rewards such as a 3-Day Music Festival or going to a vegan bistro. Memories last forever, after all.
Player pieces include a few things millennials simply can’t live without, such as a camera, sunglasses and a hashtag.
“Money doesn’t always buy a great time,” says the insultingly disingenuous description. “But experiences, whether they’re good — or weird — last forever.”
Let’s just hope their student loan debt and the threat of losing social security don’t.