Stupid Criminals: Man Crashes into Gas Pump, Arrested with Weed Gummies


In Florid, a guy pulled into a gas station and nearly crashed into one of the pumps, so someone called the cops. When they showed up, he claimed his car wouldn't start. Then he said he didn't have the keys. But then he realized he did have them, but they were in his pocket. When they asked to see his license, he pulled out a big bag of marijuana gummies - which still aren't legal in Florida. 

So he said they weren't his. They were is girlfriends. And she has cancer. But there is no girlfriend... Or cancer... But there was also another bag in the car, this one with cocaine.

So, he got himself arrested. You have to check out his mugshot... He's clearly high as a kite...

In Washington State, police recently raided the home of a guy. They were looking for some stolen catalytic converters... Which they found... But in addition to that, they found something else entirely.

Back in December, a bunch of playground equipment disappeared from a park nearby.  When they executed the search warrant for the catalytic converters... They found the 400 lb slide from the park, in his kid's bedroom, attached to his bunk beds.

So... If he had actually bought the slide and done it the right way, he would have been the coolest dad ever. But instead, he's looking at jail time.

Finally, there is a guy in Pennsylvania who has been the treasurer at his church for the last 12 years.

Well... A few years ago the church's bills were so far behind that their utilities got shut off. And when the other board members looked at the finances, they noticed that at least $150k were missing.  

Turns out.. The treasurer had been spending that money on a webcam porn site called "flirt for free"... Which apparently was not free.

When he was confronted about it, he told police that what he didn't wasn't stealing... He was donating it to charity... Because he was giving money to the women on the site to help them out. Yeah... They didn't buy it. He was arrested.