DOUG: UK to Ban Junk Food Commercials on TV Before 9:00pm

Man you think you know a guy…When I first heard the name Boris Johnson I was told he was “the British Donald Trump.” I can say with certainty that Donald Trump would NEVER sign a ban on junk food ads on television, as Johnson is doing this week. High fat, high salt, high sugar foods will be banned until 9:00pm across the pond; companies like McDonald’s can still run ads, but they can’t show the food. This is not U.oK. Why? Well, if this was the rule when I was growing up, some of the most iconic commercials of all-time would never have existed. 

Here’s five that immediately come to mind:

1.Mean Joe Green and the kid with the Coke – high sugar sodas couldn’t be shown, and Mean Joe drinking it would definitely be a no-no.

2.Mikey and the LIFE Cereal – Would the finicky Mikey eat LIFE cereal? We’d never know under these rules, too much sugar in LIFE.

3.The Tootsie Pop Owl – I would never know how many licks it takes to get to the center (TWO) if Boris Johnson was around back then.

4.“Where’s the Beef?” - Clara would not have been allowed to ask that question, because Wendy’s wouldn’t be allowed to show the rival’s lame burger.

5.Fred the Baker – We would never know that it was “time to make the donuts” because Fred would not be on tv telling us.

I know obesity’s a problem, I know junk food’s not good for us blah blah blah…but, what kind of world would we be living in if Fred the Baker never existed? What kind of world would we have if we weren’t allowed to see what Marcia Brady would look like if she couldn’t eat a Snickers (spoiler: she’d look like Danny Trejo)? What kind of world would we be in if we never found out the results of a collision between a guy eating a chocolate bar and a woman eating a jar of peanut butter (while they were both walking aimlessly down the street in opposite directions wearing headphones). 

That’s not a world I want to be in. No wonder Meghan Markle wanted out of England so bad. -Doug

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